Sunday, January 24, 2010

Can I Get My Ex Back? Interpret The Signs, Discover The Answer

When a breakup occurs, it can be devastating emotionally. It can feel like your entire world is crumbling beneath you. When you truly love someone, and they suddenly call it quits, it can leave you feeling like you aren't good enough and like no one will ever love you or want you. It can leave you feeling sick and nauseated unable to eat or concentrate on anything. Breaking up with your ex can leave you confused about whether or not there's hope to save the relationship, and it can be flat out frustrating to think about. You replay the entire relationship over and over in your head just trying to understand, but you can't find any answers.

Ultimately you're left with one question, "Can I get my ex back?" Luckily, the answer to this question is almost always "yes" because most relationships are salvageable if both partners are willing to work at it. Breaking up can actually be a good thing because it can reveal problems in the relationship that need fixed, and it can give both partners the fear of loss which can motivate them to be a better boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, or husband. When you get back together with your ex, you'll have a stronger sense of what it actually takes to make a relationship work.

To determine if it's possible to get your ex back, look for the following signs that can be good indicators of whether or not the relationship can be saved. It's best to look for these indicators a few weeks after the breakup occurred so that you and your ex have had time to think about your relationship and get your feelings sorted out. It's important to let all the mixed emotions die down before you try to determine if you can get your ex back.


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The first sign to look for is open lines of communication. Does your ex still talk to you? Do they initiate the conversation and attempt to get a hold of you? Do they at least pick up the phone or text you back if you contact them? As long as there is at least some communication going on, then there's hope of getting your ex back. Remember not to rush this process. If you push too hard or try to contact your ex too often, and don't give them space, then you can push them further away.

Secondly, if you interact with your ex at work or see them when you're out on the town, how do they respond to you? Are they friendly and approachable or do they instantly get angered and head in the opposite direction? If they are avoiding you, then it could mean a couple of things. Either they are truly done with the relationship and want nothing more to do with you, or it's possible they just need more time to sort out their feelings so they can forgive and forget whatever caused the breakup.

A third thing to look for is if your ex seems to find reasons to see you. Do they come over saying they need to check and see if they left something in your apartment? Do they ask you to come over or to do things "just as friends"? If your ex is still finding reasons to have you around even if they say they don't want a relationship, then chances are they still have feelings for you. Given some time, this is a good indicator that you can get your ex back.

Relax, take it easy, be patient, and don't let a breakup turn you into someone needy and desperate, and more times than not, you'll find breaking up and then getting back together with your ex can be a life lesson that will make your relationship stronger in the end.

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Saturday, January 23, 2010

Win Her Heart Back By Learning From Bad Boys

Breakups hurt. Let's just say it. There's no point beating around the bush when it comes to lost love. You know you messed up. You made poor decisions. You took your ex girlfriend for granted, and now you're searching for a way to win her heart back. Worse yet, as time went on in the relationship, maybe you even did the opposite and became needy and clingy. You wanted so bad for her to love you in the same way that you dropped everything and began to bow down to her every wish. You were always there, everywhere she went. And you became the "best friend" instead of the "boyfriend" and destroyed the attraction in the process.

Here's the problem. Attraction isn't a choice.

People don't consciously decide to be attracted to another person. They just are or they aren't. It just happens. Although your ex girlfriend can't consciously choose to be attracted to you, there are things you can do to make her "feel" attracted to you. She won't even know what hit her, and the great thing is you already know what to do because you were doing it the day she met you.

When you first met her, you were a strong, confident man. You made her laugh. You had your own life, your own goals, your own friends you hung out with all the time. Sometimes you were busy and couldn't just drop what you were doing for her. You didn't answer the phone every time she called cause you were doing other things. You weren't at her side every single day. You gave her space and allowed her to think about you and miss you. You weren't needy or desperate.

Then things changed. You started falling in love and you stopped being a man. You became dependent on her, probably became jealous when she didn't spend all of her time with you, and you killed the attraction. You started buying her things all the time, taking her to expensive dinners and offering to pay for them all the time because you thought that's what would make her want to keep you around. You thought you were being nice and sweet, but you were killing the relationship.


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There's a reason women are so attracted to "bad boy" types. Confidence is the key. Even when they know bad boys are a poor rational decision, they can't help it. Remember, attraction isn't a choice. Bad boys do the right things to create a strong emotional attraction women can't resist even when rationally the relationship isn't a good fit.

So what can you learn from bad boys that can help you get your ex girlfriend back? Win her heart back with confidence. Prove to her that you're happy and that you have your own goals and dreams. You're living your life the way you want to live it, and you invite her to be a part of it, but you're not going to drop everything for her and become needy and dependent. You're in control and aren't afraid to blaze your own trail. Don't be mean and don't turn into a jerk (this is where the bad boys fail and why relationships with bad boys don't last), but take the bad boy's confident attitude and use it to your advantage if you want to get your ex back.

Win your ex girlfriend's heart back by infusing confidence with humor. Be happy. Be optimistic. Don't sulk or be negative about the relationship. Let the past be the past. Be honest and make her laugh and she'll be yours forever. In short, be the man you were before you let your feelings for her change you.

Let me leave you with a quick tip. The next time you ask your ex girlfriend on a date as you work on getting back together with her, try this. Rather than saying, "Can I take you out to a movie and dinner?", say something like, "I'm going to such and such a movie and dinner afterward. You're welcome to come along." Why? What's the difference? The first puts you in the position of being needy and doing her a favor. The second puts you in control and invites her into your life, but you're going to go have fun with or without her. That creates attraction. Try it. You'll be surprised at the results.


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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

How To Get Back Together With My Ex Girlfriend - 5 Must Do Tips

"How can I get back together with my ex girlfriend?" The thought trickles through your brain one morning when you wake up after just going through a breakup. You want to get back together with your ex girlfriend, but you just don't know how.

If you want to get back together with your ex girlfriend, you'll want to formulate a plan of attack by assessing the relationship and figuring out exactly what went wrong. Did she end the relationship or did you break up with her? What happened? Was there a single, clear-cut event that ended the relationship such as someone cheating, or did the relationship end because you found yourself constantly getting in arguments time and time again? Maybe one day you just woke up and your girlfriend told you she no longer had feelings for you, and you don't even know why. If you want your ex girlfriend back, it's important to know what ended the relationship because something like cheating will be harder to forgive and forget than just a simple case of miscommunication.

You will also need to prepare yourself to accept things if your girlfriend decides she doesn't want you back. If that's the case, then you need to respect her wishes and move on. Also, you need to think about and decide if getting back together with your ex girlfriend is truly what you want. Do you truly love her or do you just want back because you're afraid to be alone or because you feel guilty about something you did? Do you see a long-term future with her or are you just dating for fun and don't expect it to last? If you're not serious about the relationship, or if you have any doubts at all, then you should consider waiting longer before you try to get back with your ex so that you can get all your feelings sorted out. If you've identified the reasons for the breakup and decide you still love your ex girlfriend and want her back, then here's some tips to help you get your ex back.


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1.) Time and space are your friend - Be sure to give your ex plenty of time and space. This can be very difficult following a breakup especially if you feel like you messed up in the relationship, but allowing your ex girlfriend to miss you is very important if you want her back. Don't crowd her or pressure her with multiple calls, texts, emails, etc. In fact, it's better if you let her initiate the lines of communication. Appearing desperate to get her back will only reduce your chances of getting her back.

2.) Avoid becoming a stalker- This seems pretty obvious, but after a breakup you may be tempted to drive over to your ex girlfriend's house or apartment to see if she's home or to see if other guys are there. Avoid this temptation at all costs. Nothing will close the doors for good on your relationship faster than your girlfriend finding out you've been following her around.

3.) Avoid being needy- If you want the best chance of getting your ex back, then you need to go about your life the way you always have. In fact, try to be the person your girlfriend was attracted to when she first met you. Were you fun and funny? Did you have your own goals and dreams? Did you hang out with friends and enjoy life? You need to show your ex that you're not needy, that you have your own life, and you're ok with or without her. That is most likely how you acted in the beginning before you developed feelings for your ex and that's precisely why she was attracted to you. Never beg or plead to try and get back together with your ex girlfriend.

4.) Avoid trying to buy your way back into the relationship- You may be tempted to get your ex girlfriend back by buying her things like flowers, chocolates, jewelry, or other expensive things she might like. If you have to buy your way back in, then the relationship isn't one worth having in the first place. Trying to buy an ex back makes you look weak, needy, and pathetic like you don't have anything other than money to give. Remember, you want her to love you for you, not for the things you have or that you can afford to buy.

5.) Have a respectful attitude- If you see your ex out with someone else, don't let jealousy get the best of you. Don't get angry or upset. Be friendly and act in a manner that says, "I'm ok and living my own life without you" even if it kills you inside to see her with someone else. Never talk bad about another guy she might be seeing, especially if you don't even know him. Your ex girlfriend isn't likely to want you back if you're jealous and bad mouthing people all the time. Win your ex back by controlling your emotions at all times.

Follow these tips and you'll be well on your way to getting your ex girlfriend back. Keep a positive attitude, give it time, and chances are you will get her back.


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Monday, January 11, 2010

Does Your Ex Want You Back? Here's How To Tell What Your Ex Is Thinking

Getting back with your ex can be a very confusing time. After a breakup when emotions run high it can be very confusing to sort out your own feelings, and even more confusing to try and understand what your ex is feeling and thinking. If you've just experienced a breakup, here are some tips to help you figure out if your ex may be interested in getting back together with you.

After a breakup, you may be wondering, "Does my ex want to get back together with me?" However, before you ask that question, there are a few things you need to do first. It's very important to sort your own feelings out FIRST before you start worrying about what your ex may or may not want and whether or not getting back with your ex is a possibility.

First, have you given yourself time to assess the break-up so you can identify what went wrong? It will do you no good to get back with your ex if previous relationship problems haven't been identified and remedied. To do this properly, you need to give yourself time and space away from your ex so you can think clearly. This also gives your ex time to sort out their feelings and to miss you. By taking some time out for yourself first, you can better assess your ex's actions to determine if they want to get back together with you.


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If your ex does decide they want you back, here's some things to look for to help you determine exactly what they're thinking.

1.) First Move- Did your ex make the first move to get back in touch? If your ex is making an effort to contact you via emails, phone calls, texts, etc. then chances are they still want a relationship with you. People who are truly done in a relationship won't make the effort to stay in touch.

2.) Interaction- If you're out and about and happen to bump into your ex, do they act friendly and nice or do they appear distant and attempt to avoid you? A friendly demeanor is a good sign there's still feelings and hope that the relationship can be saved. In this case, the chance to get back with your ex is a definite possibility.

3.) Flirting- Does your ex still flirt with you? Flirting is a tell-tell sign that an ex is still interested. If they still call you pet names like babe or cutie or flirt with you, then you can count on there still being an attraction present. If the flirting is at all sexual in nature, then even better. Sexual flirtation is a sign of attraction. Friendly or casual flirtation may or may not be an indication of attraction.

4.) Jealousy- If you find that your ex seems somewhat sad or upset when they hear you are hanging out with someone else of the opposite sex, then they are still very much attached to you. As a word of caution, don't use this against them and purposely throw dates with other people in their face to make them jealous or you will ruin all chances of getting back together with your ex. However, if you're talking to them and mention you're going to the movies with someone and they seem disappointed or sad, then this can be a good indicator that strong feelings still exist.

Sort out your own feelings FIRST, and then pay close attention to how your ex interacts with you, and you should be able to tell whether or not your ex wants you back.

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Saturday, January 9, 2010

The Right Way To Act When You Want Your Ex Girlfriend Back

I often hear guys asking, "What can I do to get my ex girlfriend back?" After a bad breakup when you've had a chance to sit and think about everything and some of the confusion subsides, you may find yourself wanting your ex girlfriend back. You start questioning yourself and may come to realize what caused the breakup was an unnecessary over-reaction or was something that wasn't worth breaking up over. You may realize just how much you love her.

When this happens most guys searching for ways to get their ex girlfriend back take the wrong approach by trying to "buy" their way back into the relationship. They start sending cards, flowers, chocolates, or even nicer gifts hoping that will bring their ex girlfriend running back into their arms. The problem with this approach is women can see right through it, and it will ultimately make you look weak and unattractive in their eyes.


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If you want to get your ex girlfriend back, start by stepping away from the relationship. Give your ex girlfriend space. Women are much more emotional than men and she will need time to sort her feelings out. Let her be mad for a while and don't pressure her with phone calls, texts, emails, etc.

Use this time to better yourself. Go out and do something fun with friends. Think about what went wrong in the relationship and figure out ways to prevent it from happening again when you do get your ex girlfriend back. By going about your daily life, you give your ex the opportunity to miss you. Seeing that you are in control of your life with or without her will ultimately make you a more attractive man in her eyes, and she'll start to re-think things.

If you happen to cross paths with your ex girlfriend and she's with another guy, don't get angry. Don't get upset. Act cool and casual as if it doesn't bother you. This will really get her re-thinking things. Women desire a man who is in control of his emotions and someone who is in control in general. By acting like you're not bothered by her being with someone else, you make yourself extremely attractive by proving you are in control of your own life and your own emotions.

Within a few weeks, it's very likely she'll attempt to get in touch with you. If not, then the relationship may be beyond repair in which case you'll need to accept that and move on. Don't get discouraged about figuring out how to get your ex girlfriend back. Don't be needy, don't beg, and don't try to "buy" your way back in.

Give getting your ex back some time and play it cool, and you'll never again have to ask, "What can I do to get my ex girlfriend back?", because she'll already be in your arms.

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Friday, January 8, 2010

I Want to Get My Ex Boyfriend Back - Tips to Help You Start the Process

After a bad breakup when the emotionally charged feelings subside and you've had a chance to think clearly, you may find yourself wanting to change things. You start asking yourself, "Is there any way to get my ex boyfriend back?" It's possible you've even tried to start the process, but everything you do seems to just push your ex further away.

If you want to save your relationship and get your ex boyfriend back, here are some tips to help you.

The first thing you need to do to get your ex back is to stop pressuring. It's natural to want your ex back fast when you want to save the relationship, but the best thing you can do is actually to step back and give your ex space. Pursuing him through phone calls, driving over to his house, sending emails, or mass texting every day will only make him feel pressured and will push your ex further away. Begging your ex to take you back will only make you look weak, pathetic, and unattractive so stop it right now.

You may be thinking, "If that strategy won't work, then what CAN I do to get my ex boyfriend back?" Reverse your thinking and take a fresh approach to win back your ex.


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This may seem counter intuitive, but leaving your ex alone, breaking off contact, and doing your own thing gives you the best chance of getting your ex boyfriend back. Take time to yourself, figure out what aspects of your relationship need worked on, hang out with friends, and cut communication off with your ex for a while. Stay disciplined or this won't work because you'll revert to your begging ways.

What's great about human nature is people want what they don't have. As soon as you stop pursuing your ex, his feelings for you will start to shift. He will begin to miss you because you aren't there. He will wonder what you are doing, who you are with, and why you stopped pursuing him. You will become a mystery to your ex boyfriend, and the fear of losing you forever will set-in, forcing him to make a move to get you back. When you pursue him and smother him, you give him no chance to miss you or to fear losing you forever because he feels like you're still there all the time.

When I get asked, "What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back?" The answer is simply to work with human nature and not against it. Use fear of loss and the idea that people want what they don't have to your advantage by not smothering or begging, and by doing your own thing. When you act like you don't care, that's when you become a mystery to your ex boyfriend and ultimately more attractive to him. That's what will make your ex boyfriend start wondering if he made the right decision walking away. He'll be reminded of how much he loves you, and will ultimately make the first move to remedy the relationship.

Keep these tips in mind and getting your ex boyfriend back doesn't have to be a hopeless situation.

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